The Road To Discovery
by JourneyThroughMySoul
Summary: AU story, Calex end game, a story of discovery, love, heartbreak and forgiveness. What happens when a 16 year old Alex attends a new boarding school and suddenly finds herself on a road to discovery? M rating
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so I'm a little hesitant about this story. It came to me in a dream, and having always loved Alex and Casey on the show and wishing they'd have more scenes together, this seemed intriguing to write. However, it's AU and set in Virginia, when Alex and Casey meet age 16 and is written from Alex's POV**

**I don't own the characters, but the scenery, settings and storyline are all my own work, taking from my ever busy imagination. **

**I hope that you stick with me for the duration of the story, please, leave reviews and be honest. **

**Here we go with the first chapter then...**

Chapter 1

"Shit!"

The word escaped my lips before my brain had time to process my surroundings. I'd just entered the large brick building that would be my home for the next however many months. My Parent's had once again relocated, my Father's Law Firm was expanding and yes, while I was proud and happy for him, I was also disappointed. I'd liked New York, but then again, I'd liked every state my parents had travelled to. I'd made a couple of friends in each, my cell littered with contacts from Georgia and Rhode Island, even California and now New York.

"I'm so sorry, here, let me help you"

I looked up from where I'd been crouching to see the girl who'd I'd just collided with helping me retrieve the books I'd dropped. I swore my stomach was doing some sort of acrobatic movement as our eyes connected. My mouth had gone dry, my voice suddenly forgetting it existed. It took me a second, but in those moments the panic at the strange and foreign feeling that was rising inside caused the ice queen in me to appear

"I can manage perfectly fine thank you very much"

I know I was being incredibly rude but something about the redheaded girl made me feel weird, I couldn't put my finger on it but I wasn't sure I liked the feeling

"Oh okay", I could see the hurt as she stood, handing me the book I'd dropped, and then as she walked away I mentally kicked myself. This was not the impression I wanted to give before I'd even passed the reception area

I'd always been known as Alex "The Ice Queen" Cabot, and I know that I could be offish, a little snobby at times, and I didn't mean to, I'd just learnt to guard myself, not let anybody within touching distance. I never knew when my parent's would relocate, never knew how long I'd be staying and so I didn't let myself get too attached, yet I'd managed to make friends and it had always been hard saying goodbye

I found the reception and dinged the bell; a plump woman appeared, her glasses dangling precariously on her nose

"Hello"

"I'm Alexandra Cabot, I've just transferred here," I explained, my voice slightly faltering, for some reason I was always nervous at these first introductions

"Miss Eisenhower" she introduced herself, a large perfectly manicured hand was offered to me "Nice to meet you Alexandra, or do you prefer Alex?"

"Either is fine" I replied, shaking her hand, although it was somewhat of a lie, I'd always preferred Alex but my parents had always corrected everyone when I had been living with them and they'd never called me anything other than the name I had been given and so it was how I introduced myself

"Okay, well Alex, here's your dorm key, you're in room 41, you'll have a roommate, her name is Hailey" she explained "I'd usually show you around but I've an important board meeting in a short while, restrooms and shower areas are located opposite your room, but we have toilet's all over the building, and in the main school. The food hall and kitchen is just next door, and the communal area is to your right before you get to the stairs"

I nodded, trying to take in the information while signing my name on the documents she had thrust in my direction

Once I had finished, Miss Eisenhower said her goodbyes before hurrying into the office, leaving me a little overwhelmed and uncertain of where I should be heading

I sighed loudly as I began searching for the room I'd inhabit, the building was old, but it had a homely feel to it. As I'd entered the reception area a faintly distinctive smell had hit me, reminding me of Texas, of my hometown and my best friend Abbie Carmichael.

It felt like a million memories ago I'd hugged the brunette goodbye, her tears wetting my shoulders as she promised to keep in touch, and we had, even managing to meet up during the summer while I was in Georgia, but that had been almost a year ago, I'd spent seven months in New York since and now as I faced an uncertain length of here in Virginia, I missed home

I hated transferring schools, it was always difficult trying to adjust to new rules, a new building, new teachers but it was harder when moving from one state to another, I'd had to read up on state laws, education, and now knew pretty much everything there was about the state of Virginia. What I hated most though, was transferring mid-term.

It didn't take me long to figure out I needed to climb two flights of stairs, and before I knew it I was standing outside room 41, I searched around in my bag for the key I'd been given, and fumbled with it for a few moments, trying to juggle the books I was holding. I'd just managed to get the key in the lock when it was opened from inside

"Hi, you must be Alex"

The girl in question was short in stature, her blonde hair was cut short, and her smile was wide as she extended a hand, I shook it as she told me her name

"Hailey Ashbrook, I'm your roommate"

I nodded as I stepped inside, retrieving my key from the lock as I closed the door behind me. The room was nice, simple with magnolia walls and two single beds, a bookcase and two wooden wardrobes. The girl, Hailey motioned in the direction of the clean, freshly made bed and wardrobe on the right

"This is your area, I'm pretty relaxed, so if you need some more space then feel free to use whatever you need. Have you been shown the restrooms and shower area?"

I shook my head, I don't know why but I hadn't been able to find my voice and worried I was coming across as deaf, dumb or just plain rude

"Well, I can show you if you want"

I nodded, before cursing out loud, the blonde turning quizzically "Are you okay?"

I nodded before a small chuckle left my lips "I'm fine" I replied, "I'm sorry, I must seem quite rude, I don't know what just happened, my voice seemed to have forgotten it existed, again"

The blonde smiled, her demeanour was relaxed, she didn't seem annoyed or put off by my lack of people skills "That's okay, most people are overwhelmed when they meet me, I just love talking to people"

"Oh, no, it's not you" I interjected quickly "I'm just trying to find my bearings, although you'd think I'd be used to change by now"

I felt incredibly out of place here, the blonde was dressed casually in a sweater and jeans, her feet were bare and I recalled the redhead I'd collided with earlier had been wearing a tracksuit. Here I stood in my tailored pants and a button down shirt, a thin blazer hanging over my shoulders.

"How come?" she asked as I sat down on the bed, my behind hitting the soft mattress, a small sigh escaping my lips

"I've moved around a lot" I explained, "My Father owns his own law firm, and he's opening a new office in Roanoke, so they relocated here and here I am"

"Roanoke?" Hailey asked as she sat beside me, "So how come you're here in Tappahannock and not at home with them attending a public school or even a private school?"

I shrugged, I'd always asked myself that question, whichever state my parents had relocated to, I'd always attended a boarding school. I hadn't lived with my parents since I was in Texas, and even then I barely saw either of them, my care entrusted into the hands of Mrs Whiptree, my nanny and tutor

"I've never attended a private school or a state school" I said quietly, suddenly feeling awkward "Anyway, you said something about showing me the restroom, showers and such"

If Hailey had noticed the quick change of subject she didn't say anything, instead she stood, rambling on about shower times and breakfast times, as we excited the dorm room

I tried to take in the information I was given as I was shown the restroom opposite our dorm, the shower area was empty, and held two shower stalls. As we exited the area, Hailey explained something about the water pressure but my thoughts were elsewhere as I noticed the redhead I'd collided with earlier leaning against the wall, her hand gripping her cell as she spoke to whoever was on the end. She had changed from her earlier attire, the garish green tracksuit now having been swapped for a pair of white jeans and a cream coloured sweater, her red hair no longer tied up now hung loosely over her shoulders, clearly having just been washed. I blushed, unwillingly picturing the redhead showering

"Alex" I heard the faint calling of the blonde beside me, my brain taking a moment to register as I turned, the shorter girl wearing a smile "Did you hear anything I just said?"

I nodded before I shook my head, trying to clear the fuzz "Sorry" I mumbled "Water pressure"

Hailey chuckled as she unlocked our dorm door, I followed her inside, my heart beating in my chest for a reason I had not yet been able to ascertain "I was telling you that when using the shower, you have to turn the water on slowly, the pressure of the water can sometimes be a little on the strong side, oh and it's cold"

I nodded, making a note of the information in my head as my stomach grumbled, I hadn't eaten since breakfast and now as the clock read 3pm, I was in dire need of food "Okay, I saw the dinner hall when I entered, just past reception, what time is dinner? I am starving"

Hailey chuckled, clearly having heard my stomach making it's needs known "Dinner is at 5, so you've another 2 hours" she explained, the scowl on my face causing her to laugh as she rummaged underneath her bed for something

She chucked me a bag of Cheetos "Here, I was saving these, but you can have them"

"You sure?"

Hailey nodded, looking at her slim frame in the mirror "I've worked hard to lose weight and you're obviously hungry"

I opened the bag, the smell familiar and comforting as I began eating the cheesy snack. Hailey laughed as a moan escaped my lips at the taste and I chuckled "They're good"

"So, where was your head earlier?" she asked, causing me to stop mid chew as I raised my head, she had a smile playing on her lips and I wondered whether she'd sussed my intrigue for the redhead

"Nowhere" I said, rather quickly and Hailey raised her eyebrows in response, I inwardly cursed, berating myself for the obvious lie. I still hadn't figured out what the strange feeling was, my stomach and heart had reacted in ways I'd never before experienced and I wasn't sure I liked the uneasiness

"You were watching Casey" she said, her words were matter of fact and I realised she had sussed me out. My stomach fluttered, the feeling from earlier returning as I learnt the name of the redheaded girl

I folded up the packet of Cheetos I had opened, placing them on the small stand beside the bed "Her name's Casey?" I asked, the name rolling of my tongue as if it had always been there

"Yeah, she's in room 43", The information intrigued my senses, the room in question just two doors down from the one we currently occupying

I nodded, wondering whether the blonde would offer any more "You've met her" she said, it wasn't a question, and I wondered how she'd come about this knowledge

"Earlier" I began "She bumped into me, I was kind of rude" I offered the last bit of information voluntarily, although why I didn't know. I'd felt awful after the exchange

She nodded "I know, she told me that she'd bumped into a beautiful blonde as she came back from her run but she was a snobby sort, dressed all formal, said she'd declined her help. When you opened the door I put two and two together"

I sighed, my hand rubbing my forehead "Is it okay if I have some privacy to change? I feel a little awkward in this get-up"

"Of course" she replied as she headed towards the door "You should probably apologise to Casey, she's been assigned as your chaperone during your first day"

The information both frightened and excited me and as I rummaged through my holdall, looking for something a little less pretentious, I was faintly aware of my quickening heartbeat and the fact that Casey had said I was beautiful.


	2. Chapter 2

**Glad to see this is being read, thank you. **

**Apologies for the slow update, we've recently got a new kitten and have been settling him in so have been unable to update, but hopefully you enjoy this second instalment.**

**Keep reading and reviewing **

Chapter 2 

The light hit me as I opened my eyes the next morning. Hailey was already dressed; she sat at the head of her bed, her legs crossed as she scribbled away in a notebook. I yawned and stretched as I glanced at the clock, it read 7AM.

"Morning" Hailey said cheerfully, and I inwardly groaned, she was a morning person, and I certainly wasn't, I hated mornings, always had and suspected I always would

"Hey"

"Did you sleep well?" she asked as I sat up, swinging my legs around and placing my feet into the slippers I'd discarded the previous evening

I nodded; suddenly realising I'd slept better than I had in months "I slept well thanks"

"Good" she replied, motioning towards the door "I think there's a shower free, breakfast starts at 8, if you want first dibs you'd better get a move on"

I nodded as I stood, my stomach was still full from the meal I'd consumed yesterday evening. I had been surprised at the amount of cuisines and food on offer, and my senses had been ignited by all the wonderful smells.

I gathered my toiletry bag, towels and uniform, not in any real hurry and headed out of the dormitory

I entered the restroom, faintly aware of a humming sound coming from one of the shower stalls, and placed my belongings on the bench. There was a hint of Vanilla in the air and I closed my eyes, inhaling the scent, not noticing the water had stopped nor that the door to the shower stall was being slid I open.

I opened my eyes, and gasped, it was her, Casey, naked in front of me "Sorry" I mumbled, but unable to avert my gaze

"Pass me the towel then" her voice echoed, the southern accent familiar as her annoyance and embarrassment became evident

I quickly tore my eyes away from milky skin, faintly aware of the same quickening of my heart but also aware of an unfamiliar tingling cascading over my body as I grabbed the two towels on top of her belongings and handed them to her

Her cheeks wore a bright crimson as she wrapped the largest towel quickly around her body, drying it gently and I was suddenly thrust back into reality, an awkwardness settling over us

"Sorry" I mumbled again, my eyes now firmly on the floor "About yesterday"

"I was only trying to be helpful Alex," she told me, and my heart fluttered at the sound of my name from her lips, she knew my name already. I felt myself blush unexpectedly, pleased when she continued, not having seemed to have noticed, she was now using the slightly smaller towel to dry her hair "I didn't mean to bump into you, I was coming back from my run"

I nodded, my guilt returning as I replied, "I know and I am sorry for being so rude"

"Apology accepted" she said, the towel in her hands being tossed onto the bench before she extended her hand "The name is Casey, Casey Novak"

I shook her hand, before quickly dropping it, the strange tingling now returning; "I heard you'd be chaperoning me during the day"

"We have the same timetable, so Miss Eisenhower thought it made sense" she explained as she turned towards the bench, picking up a piece of underwear "Anyway I should get dressed"

I nodded, swallowing as she let the towel she had covered herself with fall, and I noticed a smirk on her lips as I stuttered, "I…er… should er…shower"

I was a little embarrassed as I shed my clothes; but my eyes kept drifting to the redhead as she began dressing, and as I removed the last garment, my pyjama top and folded it neatly, I swore I could feel her eyes on me

I stepped into the shower stall, closing it behind me and I heard her call out "I'll see you after breakfast"

"Okay" I called as I turned on the faucet, forgetting Hailey's words of caution. I gasped as the cold water came shooting out of the waterfall shower above, and quickly followed the sound with a curse "Fuck" as I stepped out of it's spray

I gradually turned the nozzle, until the water began to warm up and cautiously returned to underneath the now calm flow. I lathered up the sponge, allowing the water to cascade along my now tense body as I began to wash.

I gradually relaxed, angling the showerhead over my stomach and to my nether regions. I was surprised at the feeling the water caused as it hit; and involuntarily closed my eyes, a gentle moan escaped my lips. I held the showerhead still, the feeling somehow sending shockwaves from all directions, not quite sure what was happening. My legs suddenly felt like they belonged to someone else, almost liquefying as a feeling of euphoria washed over me, almost causing me to fall

I was horrified at what happened next, the sight of the redhead swam into my view, not just any sight but the naked sight I had seen earlier. Her milky skin littered with freckles, the curves of her breasts, her hips and long legs invaded my mind. My eyes flew open, my breath quickening and my heart beating wildly.

I blushed, before quickly returning the showerhead to it's home above my head, and opening the shower door.

I quickly dried myself, and dressed, before hurrying back into my dorm room, glad to see it was empty. Hailey having headed to the breakfast hall

I sat down on my bed, willing my heart to quieten and my hands to stop shaking. What on earth had just happened?

I quickly grabbed my phone from the drawer beside the bed and opened up Google Search, I quickly typed in "Showerhead on Vagina", my brows furrowing in confusion as the words masturbation appeared

I wasn't naïve, well, not completely, I had just turned 16, my birthday having been May 31st. I'd never quite been in the right place at the right time to have Sex Education, what I knew was minimal, only from reading novels. I quickly deleted my search, and typed in masturbation. I scanned the summary, the blush returning as I made the connection between the words I was reading and what had just occurred in the shower stall

I had just experienced my first orgasm

I looked at the clock, noting it was nearing 8.45AM and I was suddenly aware of wetness on my cheeks, I lifted my hand and felt a tear slip from my eyes

I'd just had an orgasm, my first ever and I'd been thinking about Casey. It wasn't so much that it was the redhead that I'd envisioned during this intimate act, more so the fact that it had been another girl, and my mothers words entered my head "Having those kind of feelings for the same sex is wrong, it's disgusting"

I allowed my mind to take me back to the time I'd heard her say those words. My Auntie Liz had been visiting, I was only 6 or 7 at the time, I'd been in my bedroom, banished from the living room as it was adult conversation time. I hadn't really understood her words to the woman I had adored at the time, and when I'd questioned when we'd be visiting Auntie Liz, my mother had replied that we wouldn't

I hadn't seen Auntie Liz again that day but now as I returned to the present day and typed in "Girl fancies girl", I finally understood why. Auntie Liz had been, or still was, a Bisexual or Lesbian and my mother deeply disapproved.

I suddenly felt very ashamed, I was confused and uncertain of what all this meant, was I bisexual? I'd never had these feelings for boys; every boarding so far had been mixed until now so was I a Lesbian?

I sighed as I allowed myself to flop backwards onto the bed, and as I heard the school alarm ring out, the tears began flowing faster, how on earth was I going to face Casey now?

I must have cried myself to sleep because the next thing I remember is Hailey's voice as I began to stir "I think she's been crying"

I lifted my hand to my cheek, feeling the dried tears there, as I wondered who she was talking to. Hailey came to my side, obviously noticing I had woken "Hey sleepyhead, you missed first period"

I rubbed my eyes as I sat up, adjusting to the light and looked at the clock, it read 9.55AM, it was then that my gaze shifted towards the door and I realised the person she had been speaking to was Casey, I blushed hard as I remembered what had happened earlier and then a fresh round of tears started falling "Hey" Hailey soothed as she knelt down beside the bed, her hand resting on my shoulder, but I couldn't stop myself from breaking down

"What's wrong?" the voice was questioning but concerned and it took me a moment to realise it had come from the redhead, who had now crossed the room and was knelt beside the short blonde

"Nothing" I said quickly, feeling embarrassed but also touched at there obvious worry, I used the sleeve of my grey sweater to wipe the tears, swallowing hard to avoid anymore from escaping "What lesson is it now?"

"Physical Ed" came Casey's enthusiastic reply and I gave a small smile at her obvious excitement, as if she'd suddenly forgot my upset

The thought of having to change in front of the redhead, and having her change in front of me almost set off another round of tears, but I pushed the feeling of fear down, telling myself that I wasn't attracted to women in that way and what had happened earlier was a mistake, a lack of judgement and would not happen again. I could do this

"Come on then" I exclaimed, my voice a little hoarse from crying and relief washed over me as the two girls stood, my breakdown now seemingly forgotten

Of course, I should have realised it wouldn't be so easily brushed aside. Physical Education hadn't been too difficult, I had had to speak to the instructor, a lanky brunette by the name of Miss Hill before the lesson began. I had developed Asthma as a child and while I hadn't had an attack for a couple of years I still carried an inhaler around with me.

This had given me a chance to avoid the rush of the changing rooms and by the time I had entered, the other students had already changed and were vacating the area. I was relieved to see that Casey had already changed, and my nerves settled.

We'd played dodge ball, blues against reds and I'd actually had a good time, I had been picked last, being the newbie I had expected this but to the surprise of my team, the blues, I'd been pretty good and we'd won.

Casey had scowled, I'd later learnt that whichever team she was on had always won, and having been on opposing teams she wasn't too pleased

However she had been in good spirits during break, and seemed interested in learning about my adventures in other states. She'd sighed wistfully and I'd learnt she had been born in Virginia, in a place called Alexandria and had been attended St Margaret's boarding school since 6th Grade. Her parents hadn't wanted children and she'd been a surprise, she'd quickly learnt that she didn't fit into her parent's lifestyle and when she was old enough, they'd sent her to boarding school.

My heart broke at the thought of not being wanted, and I mused that our situations were somewhat similar

The rest of the day had passed fairly smoothly, we'd gotten through a mind numbing geography lesson and an equally boring Math one, before lunch had come and gone all too quickly. Art had been fun, and Casey was a pretty skilled artist, her painting having easily been the work of the day. She'd explained that it was something she'd got into as a young girl, finding it soothing, it had been a distraction from the constant bickering of her parent's

It was now the end of the school day and Casey had asked if I fancied accompanying her on her run, the thought of the redhead, sweaty and panting sent my heartbeat into overdrive, I fought to curb my emotions as panic rippled through me, and managed to stutter out my apologies before fleeing

I literally sprinted back to my dorm room, throwing open the door to see Hailey sitting cross legged on her bed, where she had been when I'd woken that morning. I wanted so badly to rewind time and return to those moments, wake up earlier and shower before Casey, I'd still not figured out what the redhead was doing in the shower stalls adjacent to my dorm. There were two dormitories allocated to each shower stall and Hailey and I, being number 41, shared with the room to our left, number 40.

"What is it?" she asked looking up at me as I rested my back to the door, the familiar sting of tears quickly pooling and slipping from my eyes. I squeezed them shut at her words, before opening them

She looked so concerned, she was such a sweet girl, and I'd quickly decided we would be friends on our first meet. I wasn't sure if I could trust her just yet though

"It's nothing" I replied, my voice wavering, it's betrayal bringing fresh tears with it

"Come and sit down" she told me, patting the space in front of her. I did as instructed, again like earlier using my sleeve to wipe at the tears

"Sorry" I wasn't sure why I was apologising; I'd never been one to show emotion. Even Abbie hadn't seen me cry more than a couple of times

"It's okay" she said, her voice soft and soothing "I'll listen if you want to talk"

I nodded, my hands clasped together in my lap, she continued with the book she had been reading, and I noticed the title "When Katie met Cassidy", I was intrigued, the cover showing two feminine looking lips and I suddenly took a chance

"I think I might be a lesbian"


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys. So it's been a busy few days here, haven't been able to get much writing done but hopefully you enjoy this chapter and the next shouldn't be too long away. **

**Thank you for the kind reviews, I agree that Alex is going to need a best friend. ****Yes, Alex's mum does sound like a bigot****...we've come so far with LGBT rights but there is still a long way to go...I remember coming out and my mum saying "you're not one of them are you?" but she's come to accept it and now loves my wife.. So maybe Alex's mum will have a change of heart. **

**Apologies for any typos, my laptop "t" key is broken so doesnt always work. **

Chapter 3

"Okay"

Hailey had closed the book she was reading, placing it on the table beside her. She didn't say anything else for a few minutes, and I could tell she was waiting for me to speak.

I sighed, now I had gained her attention, spoken those words I wasn't sure I wanted to continue. I focused my gaze on the hem of my skirt, picking at the loose thread. I felt a hand cover mine, stilling the action

"What's troubling you?"

I looked up, my eyes pricking with tears and I hastily wiped them away, an anger suddenly appearing as I fought furiously to stop them escaping "I don't know"

"You know, I'm a lesbian" she offered the information and for a second I thought she was just saying it to make me feel better, she gestured to the book she had been reading "It's a lesbian romance novel after all"

I managed a small smile as I nodded "I thought it was"

"Look, you can tell me anything you want but I will say this, I saw how you looked at Casey yesterday"

My heart quickened at the redheads name and I nodded, the next words slipping from lips involuntarily "I like her"

Hailey shifted so she was sitting beside me and nudged me, a smile playing on the edges of her lips "Why are you so scared then?"

I sighed, suddenly aware my tears had stopped and the ache inside had subsided, it was so easy to talk to the blonde girl beside me "I've never felt like this"

"About a girl?" she queried

"About anyone" I clarified "How did you know you were a lesbian?"

Hailey let out a chuckle as she motioned to the posters littering the walls "I was fascinated by Selena Gomez, and then one night I came across The L Word on TV and that's when I realised, I was a lesbian, I fancied girls"

I nodded, wishing it had been that easy to learn of my sexuality, I was still confused "Have you ever fancied boys?"

"I don't know" Hailey shrugged, and I was curious as to how she was so open, so free spirited and confident with herself "There were some boys I thought were cute but I'd never had those other feelings, not like I do with girls"

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?" I know I was bombarding her with questions, I was just so confused about my own feelings, more importantly those for Casey "Sorry I'm being nosy"

"No, it's okay" Hailey replied quickly "I don't mind telling you. There was a girl at my last school, that's why I transferred here. I liked her but she wasn't into girls, I may have kissed her and she told her parents, I was called into the office and the next term at school was hell"

"I'm sorry" I generally was, I was so grateful she was telling me all this, I hoped it would help clarify some things for me

"Ah, it's all in the past" she explained "I've been here for 2 years now, but answering your question, no I've never had a girlfriend"

"Oh"

I could feel Hailey's eyes on me as I continued playing with the hem of my skirt, it had unravelled, the material cutting into my finger as I twirled it round and round. I don't know what I really wanted to hear, I was just trying to make sense, I wanted her experiences and now I was at a loss

"What was you wanting to know?" she asked, almost reading my thoughts and I shrugged in response. She took my hand, pulling the thread away from my skin "You'll cut yourself if you pull that any tighter"

"Have you ever…" I sighed, unsure of whether to continue, was I overstepping boundaries? Was it too personal? Did I really want to expose myself, share these intimate details about the experience in the showers this morning? "You know"

Hailey laughed and I suddenly regretted sharing my feelings for Casey, I quickly moved from the space, suddenly feeling exposed, I climbed onto my own bed, hugging my knees to my chest

"Hey, what happened there?" she asked, still sitting on her own bed and I was grateful she hadn't followed, I sighed

"I was going to ask something but you laughed"

"I laughed because you said 'you know' and I really don't know what you're on about" she explained, swinging her legs around so they were touching the floor, she stayed on her own bed, looking at me inquisitively

"Oh" I felt silly for my reaction, I'd taken her laughter as judgement, I wasn't used to being so open and wondered if I'd gone too far "Sorry"

"What were you asking Alex?"

I blushed, my gaze falling to the floor "It's embarrassing"

"For you or me?" she asked, crossing over to me "Can I sit?"

I nodded, a gentle smile falling on my lips, she was such a nice girl, and I wondered whether she'd even experienced an orgasm, my thoughts must have escaped my lips because next thing I know she was blushing furiously, fumbling at her words

"Wow…I erm…wow, wasn't expecting that"

"Sorry, too much" I replied hurriedly "I told you it was embarrassing, forget I said anything"

The air filled with silence, she hadn't moved from beside me and I suddenly had an urge to escape, I didn't want to ruin our friendship, that's if we'd even established one and I was scared my questions would prevent one. I didn't even register when she pulled me into a tight hug

"I have had an orgasm" she offered the information after releasing me from her grip "Once"

I lifted my head to meet her gaze as I whispered, "I didn't mean to ask that out loud"

"It's okay, I was taken aback was all, I wasn't expecting that, I don't know what I expected" she didn't seem angry or uncomfortable, just a little hesitant and I was quick to tell her I didn't need any details. She chuckled, telling me she wasn't planning on offering but wanted to know why I'd asked

I sighed, I didn't know whether I should divulge the information on my lips, I wanted someone to help me understand "I erm…saw Casey in the showers this morning"

"Okay" I could see Hailey wasn't following and I sighed, I really didn't know how to explain what had happened "I don't follow"

"She was naked"

"Oh"

I nodded, a slight chuckle emitting from my lips at her shock, she was obviously unaware and I was both relieved and disappointed in equal measure "Exactly"

"Did she see you?"

I nodded, going on to explain the exchange between us and the following experience of my first orgasm, I was aware I was blushing profusely, my hands had become clammy and my heart felt like it was going to give out

"Well, I don't know what to say" Hailey said as I finished explaining, before chuckling "You know, you shouldn't be ashamed, it's perfectly normal to masturbate"

I blushed harder, if that was possible, having someone name the act as masturbation suddenly making everything much realer, and I groaned, "I'm so embarrassed"

"Don't be" she replied, as she looked at the time "It's almost dinner time, come on, let's go and get something to eat"

"I don't feel hungry" I replied, my stomach growling as I spoke, the lie I'd told obvious as soon as it left my lips "Casey'll be there"

"How on earth did you get through the day?" Hailey asked as she stood, grabbing my hands and pulling me from the bed, the sudden movement causing my vertigo to appear

I smiled as I replied, reaching out to steady myself against the wall "Casey's pretty easy to get along with"

"She's pretty cool isn't she" Hailey acknowledged, as we headed out of our dorm room. I was suddenly aware of the crowd of people and not wanting anyone to overhear I simply nodded, as we headed off to dinner. Whether the conversation would continue later I didn't know

Entering the hall I spotted Casey immediately, her red hair stuck out against the blonde's and brunette's, I hoped she wouldn't notice our arrival but she must have been waiting for us as she turned and waved enthusiastically

'Just act normal' I told myself as we made our way to the table and internally cursed Hailey as she took the seat on my right, giving me no option but to sit beside the redhead

"Hey" Casey greeted the both of us before turning her gaze to me and asking "How comes you ran off earlier?"

My mouth suddenly lost it's moisture, I'd almost forgotten about the earlier exchange and I could feel Hailey's gaze on me, obviously wondering what I'd left out of our conversation "Erm, lady issues" I lied, pretty pleased with how quickly I'd found an excuse

Casey nodded, seemingly having accepted my answer and turned her attention to the multiple carts that held the food "I wonder what's on the menu tonight, I'm famished after my run"

Hailey nudged me, her eyes questioning as I turned and I mouthed 'I'll tell you later', she nodded in response as the head chef announced dinner was served

The atmosphere during dinner was relaxed, the conversation between the three of us flowing relatively easily. I was able to learn so much more about the two girls quickly becoming good friends, they were both relatively open books, sharing stories about their families. I'd already learnt that Casey was an only child and now as she spoke about her Grandmother, a strict but warm lady who she spent summers with, I wished I had the same. Both sets of my grandparents had died before I was born, and while I had lots of cousins and aunts and uncles that I saw growing up, I was an only child myself, and what with the constant upheaval it meant family gatherings were now minimal.

Hailey had two older brothers, both of which were very protective of the blonde, I could sense she missed them as she spoke about the last summer she'd spent with them and now as their attention turned to me, I began to feel more alone than ever

"What are your plans this summer Alex?" Casey queried

I shrugged in response, when I'd said goodbye to my parents yesterday morning they'd made no mention of when I'd see them next, I'd expressed my good luck to my Father but I knew I wouldn't be in regular contact with either of them. While I didn't doubt how much they loved me, I was also aware that for my parents there businesses were there babies in a way I had never been. My Mother worked from home mainly, however she was often tucked away in her studio, working on another piece of fashion and I remember as a small child wishing she'd show me her designs.

I hadn't spent summer with them for as long as I could remember and I gathered this summer would be the same, especially with my Father expanding his law firm "I'll probably just stay here"

I could tell that both Casey and Hailey didn't know what else to say and suddenly the atmosphere became awkward. I sighed internally, my fork now discarded on the side of my plate "I might head to bed" I told them as I pushed my chair from the table. I felt a hand grip at my wrist as I averted my gaze from the redhead

"You alright Al?" she asked, my heart fluttering at the moniker, no one had ever shortened my name, having been referred to as Alexandra throughout most of my life and occasionally Alex to friends.

I nodded, although I wasn't feeling alright, the sudden change in altitude once again bringing on the vertigo I'd developed over the last year, and without anything to steady myself I fainted into the poor girls lap


	4. Chapter 4

**My sincere apologies for not having updated this in a while. Life has been busy and tough, and I haven't been able to get around to writing until now but I hope you haven't all got tired of waiting, and here's another chapter for you, finally. A little shorter but I hope I can find my mojo again and get out another chapter soon. **

I came to moments later, suddenly aware of my proximity to the redhead and realised a small crowd had gathered within the few moments I was unconscious.

I must have made some sort of noise because Casey exclaimed, "Oh my god Al, you gave me a fright!"

I managed a small smile, aware that a blush had crept across my cheeks, I was very close to the redhead and my heart was beating so fast, I could feel it inside my chest. I was about to respond when Hailey appeared with the a short stout woman who I gathered to be the medic "She just passed out" she explained and the middle aged woman gave a warm smile

"How are you feeling?"

I wasn't sure of the true answer to the question, I was a little disorientated; I was resting on the knee of this beautiful girl, her arm around my shoulders in a protective and comforting way. I could tell she was concerned and I was feeling all kinds of weird.

"I'm fine" I lied, not wanting the fuss and attention. Gratefully once the medic had arrived, the crowd had dispersed, either going back to their meals as if nothing had happened or exiting the dinner hall. I glanced at the clock to see it was nearing 6.30 and wondered exactly how long I'd been out of it for

"I think you should come to the medical room all the same" the medic said and although all I wanted was to go back to my dorm and hide away, I saw an opportunity to get away from the concern of the two girls. I nodded and stood, grateful for Hailey's extended hand as I may have fallen back into Casey's lap if I hadn't have grasped it. I gave a small smile of thanks to Casey and Hailey and followed the dark haired woman out of the dinner hall

I'd been checked out in the medical room, the medic, who I'd found out was called Miss Cromer, had been concerned by my fast heart rate and my blood pressure was apparently a little high, she wanted to monitor me for a while even though I insisted I was okay and it was simply the fact that I'd stood too quickly that had caused me to faint.

She'd looked over my medical file and an hour and twenty minutes later was finally satisfied that I was okay and let me leave, albeit with an appointment to see someone at the local clinic in a week's time.

* * *

I hoped that Hailey was either alone or the dorm was empty but as I opened the door, my wishes were not to be, as sitting on my bed was Casey. Hailey was also there, and the two girls looked in my direction as the door opened and I was quickly enveloped in a hug by both of them "Are you okay?"

Casey's concern was evident and once again my heart fluttered at this knowledge. I had to find a way to cope with being around the redhead without freaking out.

I nodded as I sat down on my bed, Casey and Hailey sitting either side of me, I gave a small smile "I'm alright, I stood up a little too quickly. I've been suffering with vertigo for a while, I've got an appointment for next week at the clinic"

Hailey nodded, having seen my previous episodes "I thought it might have been that"

"You were in the medics office a long time though" Casey noted, I could tell she was still worried and knew I wasn't being entirely truthful

"Yeah, Miss Cromer wasn't happy with my heart rate and blood pressure, she just wanted to monitor me"

"But everything's okay?" Hailey asked and I nodded in response. I had felt better but I was all right, I just wanted to be left alone.

"Yeah, I'm good, but I am a little tired"

Casey stood, and I hoped I hadn't been too obvious in my desire for her to leave "I'll see you tomorrow Al" she said softly, and gave me a hug that lasted longer than I'd expected

Once Casey had left, Hailey turned to me "Tell me honestly, what happened in the dinner hall?"

I sighed, while we hadn't known each other long, she knew me really well "It really was just vertigo, I was stressing out and got up too quick"

"Why were you stressing, was it Casey?'

I shook my head and chuckled "Surprisingly not this time. I was feeling uncomfortable, you were both talking about your summers and I felt out of place. I haven't spent a summer out of boarding school for a long time"

"You know Casey's home life hasn't been so different from yours, from what you've told me"

"But she spends summer with her grandmother, I don't have anyone like that, I'm pretty much on my own"

I could tell Hailey didn't know what to say and I didn't blame her, I didn't know what I wanted to hear anyway.

"You should talk to Casey, she'd be a good support for you"

"Maybe" I replied, although I doubted I would. I didn't want to seem like a screw up in front of the redhead

"And hey, you're not on your own, you've got me and you've Casey, we care about you"

"Thanks" I said with a smile, I generally was thankful I'd met them both and in the short time I'd known them, we'd grown a bond, even if I was still confused about my feelings for Casey

Hailey must have sensed my thoughts; it was kind of creepy that she seemed to know what I was thinking

"You should talk to Casey about your feelings Alex"

"No" I said quickly before sighing "Sorry. I can't"

"Why not?" she queried

I put my head in my hands, shaking my head "Hailey, can we not talk about this now, I just want to go to bed"

Hailey nodded as she stood and walked over to her bed "Okay, but I'll just say this. I've never seen Casey so concerned or worried like she was about you"

I gave her a small smile, acknowledging I'd heard as I began to change into my pyjamas. Hailey had begun reading yet another book and I said goodnight as I climbed in under the covers. I closed my eyes, and those words she had spoken filtered through my head and a smile played on my lips. Casey had been worried, I could tell that, and she'd called me Al more than once, and maybe it meant nothing but no one had ever shortened my name in that way. I didn't want to get my hopes up but lingering inside there was some hope that maybe there was a chance I'd be surprised at her response. I was just scared of rejection, and I didn't want to lose our friendship over something I hadn't quite figured out myself.

* * *

_Casey and I had spent the day together; we'd gone to the mall on a weekend, a rare excursion from the boarding school and were now chilling in her dorm room. We'd brought mountains of clothes, and I was pleased I'd found some casual clothes that were a little less stuffy and restricting. Casey had insisted on me trying them in store, and we'd shared a cubicle, my heart had been beating so fast as she watched me change and I could tell her eyes were roaming over my body. There was a lust in her voice when she told me I looked beautiful, there was sincerity in her words, and it had done all kinds of things to me. _

_Now as we sat on her bed, up against the headboard, side-by-side I could feel her eyes on me once again, and as I turned to look at her, the redhead biting her lip whispered, "I want to kiss you"_

_I nodded, my ability to form words fading, my heart quickened as lips found mine, gentle, and soft and then I moaned as she teased with her tongue. I parted my lips as we explored every crevice, her hand on my neck as I began to feel a strange, unfamiliar want. I hesitantly touched her hip, and began to coast my fingers over the milky skin beneath her t-shirt. _

_I felt her shudder as I made contact with the space above her hipbone and then she moaned, and god was it sexy. _

_The kiss became deeper, and I may have squeaked as I felt the redhead push my shoulders down until I was almost laying, and swing her leg over mine so she was straddling my hips. She broke the kiss for a second, to ask if I was okay and I nodded before she returned her lips to mine. _

_Clothes were shed in a hurry and I gasped as her fingers found the pooling heat between my legs._

"Alex?"

I gasped as my eyes flew open, and a blush crept across my cheeks as I saw Hailey kneeling beside my bed

"You were dreaming"

If possible I blushed even harder as I realised my hand had wandered under my pyjama bottoms

"I'm okay" I managed, a strangled whisper

"Want to talk about it?"

"No!" I said, my voice finally finding it's ability as I verged on shouting "Sorry…I…it was nothing"

"You were moaning"

I nodded, pulling the cover up over my head and then I heard Hailey laugh. I peeked my head out momentarily, groaning when I realised her brain had clicked into gear

"You were having a sex dream"


End file.
